Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
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She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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