the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?