it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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