just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
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Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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