went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
