My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize