They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
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If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
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the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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