I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You need Xanax blowdarts
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
