I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
