wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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