You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You're so nebulous sometimes
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
