he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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