so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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