Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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