They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
