His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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