I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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