Those balls look pretty dangerous.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
