You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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