I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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