am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
