This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize