belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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