took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
