my phone needs a breathalizer
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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