so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
