on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
