i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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