So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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