I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
