I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she pinky promised me she was 18
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
