she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
