the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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