chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
His nipple licking is glorious
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