I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize