I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
