She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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