And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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