how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
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