it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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