you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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