I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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