My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
