She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
