i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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