"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
