He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize