So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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