Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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