it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
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He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
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