I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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