Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
