is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
