Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize