I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
