I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
you never un-have a 4some
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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