Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
