yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
do herpes really smell.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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