if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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