There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
