If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
