is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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