why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
