I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
