Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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