i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize